Announcer: Coming this Fall,
from lgnent Pictures,
from the critically acclaimed associate producers
of "Booty Call," "New Jack City,"
"Waiting to Exhale," "Set it Off," and "Above the Rim."
It's "Soundtrack, the Movie,"
the first film ever to star nothing but songs,
and also starring Chris Rock.
"Soundtrack the Movie,"
starring the music of...
also starring the acting of Chris Rock.
"Soundtrack the Movie."
Watch Chris get thrown out to the sounds of...
Hey, you need me!
...The Gap Band.
Watch Chris beg his way back in
to the sounds of Yvette Michelle.
I love you! I need you!
I love you!
Fuck you!
Watch Chris find out his phone got cut off
to the sounds of the O'Jays.
Damn! Can a brother get a dial tone?
Announcer: "Soundtrack the Movie"
and "Soundtrack the Movie" has a soundtrack.
"Soundtrack the Movie" soundtrack
featuring songs by "All 4 One," "KRS-1,"
"1 1 2," "31 1," "702,"
"91 1," "69 Boys,"
"Lost Boyz," "Barrio Boys,"
"Ghetto Boys," "Boyz ll Men,"
"Men at Large," and "Bon Jovi."
Joel Siegel says,
"No black movie has had a soundtrack like this
since the last black movie!"
It's "Soundtrack the Movie."
Could y'all cut that shit down?!
- All: No! - Announcer: "Soundtrack the Movie."
"Soundtrack the Movie" soundtrack now available
on lgnent records and tapes.
( theme music playing )
Announcer: From New York City,
It's "the Chris Rock Show."
Tonight, representative J.C. Watts, Jr.
Musical guest, Busta Rhymes.
Plus musical director
Grandmaster Flash.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Chris Rock!
Whoo!
Thank you!
Thank you! Thank you! Hey, brother!
- What's up? - ( cheering )
Damn!
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Welcome to the show.
My name is Chris Spencer.
It's a big a big week!
It's a big, you know, another big week.
Another big week. A lot of big things happened this week.
Marv Albert. Marv Albert back in the news!
Marv Albert was sentenced today.
Sentenced today. Got no jail time.
Not a day in jail.
O.J. was acquitted, spent a year in jail.
Not a day in jail. You know, I think the judge
had a real hard time giving the man a punishment.
I mean, how do you punish a man
who likes a good beating?
What do you do?
Now, before Marv was sentenced,
he threw himself at the mercy of the court,
and he asked the judge, "Wherever you send me to jail,
Can I please have conjugal visits with my hair?"
It was also announced this week--
it was also announced this week that the post office
Is gonna start issuing a Kwanzaa stamp--
a Kwanzaa stamp, yeah!
- ( audience cheering ) - There'll be-- yeah.
That's right, that's right.
It's gonna be the first stamp
that you can buy on layaway.
That's right. I'll put 4¢ today...
and then 9¢ every other month.
All right, tomorrow-- tomorrow is the Million Woman March, right?
The Million Woman March.
Okay, calm down!
It's like a damn spin-off!
That's right. Tomorrow, in Philly,
Keynote Speakers plan to give speeches on topics
such as female empowerment,
positive black role models,
and...
Denzel's ass.
Now, I'm not sure the whole Million Woman March,
you know, it's gonna work
'cause one-- you know, uh...
one of the themes of the march is returning to African values.
That's right, dude, black women returning to African values.
So I don't care what you say,
black women are not gonna give up their hair relaxer.
They're like, "What's my touch-up got to do with the community?"
A touch-up ain't hurting nobody.
Now. Women-- now, women--
women who are attending say that it's gonna be a good day
to reflect on family values.
Well, men who are not attending say
it's gonna be a good day to watch porno.
That's right. Now you get the volume up.
Got to be in the next room. "Honey, what's that?"
"Oh, somebody's getting killed."
Now, the Million Man March
was sponsored by the nation of lslam.
The Million Woman March Is being sponsored
by Lady Footlocker.
Get it?
Now, students at the University of Mississippi,
or Old Miss, whatever you wanna call her,
have voted to discourage fans from waiving Confederate flags
at athletic events. That's right.
When somebody might get touched down and pick up Confederate flags.
What kind of sh-- mess is that?
What kind of shit-- Confederate flag!
But you know what they can still do? They can still yell,
"Run, nigger, run."
In baseball, the Marlins-- everybody watching the World Series?
Baseball, the Marlins are leading the World Series. That's right.
Leading three to two, man. Now they're going back to Florida.
I'm glad they're going back to Florida,
'cause it was cold in Cleveland, man.
It's so cold that Livan Hernandez defected back to Cuba.
They don't know where the hell he's at.
Where the hell is the man?
That's right. This has been the lowest rated World Series ever.
Nobody's watching the World Series, man.
NBC is starting to panic. That's right.
On the next game, in order to boost ratings,
they're gonna have Ellen Degeneres
tongue kiss Hannah Storm.
I can't wait to see that.
And finally this week, Jim Brown...
Jim "throw a woman over a balcony" Brown
said that he thinks that O.J. killed his wife Nicole,
and that O.J. only thinks about himself.
Now when asked to comment, O.J. said,
"You know what? I think about other people all the time.
As a matter of fact, right now I'm thinking about killing Jim Brown."
Yo, we got a great show tonight.
Yo, we got...
we got Republican Congressman
J.C. Watts in the house.
We got Busta Rhymes in the house.
And I want you to give it up
for the one, the only Grandmaster Flash.
( scratching record )
That's right.
He is the grandmaster. He cuts faster than any known.
Okay, now there's a new reality-based show
coming to HBO this Fall.
It's one of my favorite shows. I can't wait for you all to watch it.
It's called "No One Called 911."
Here's a segment. Please take a look.
Narrator: You could be a victim of an accident at any moment of your life.
Suddenly, your life will depend on these professionals.
At a moment's notice, they will be by your side,
unless no one calls 911.
( emergency radio chatter )
9:35 A.M. Richard Brooks is returning
to his Freeport home from the grocery store
when suddenly he feels a sharp pain in his chest.
It felt like I was hit in the chest with a sledgehammer.
I've never felt pain like that before.
9:45 A.M.
Paramedics at Freeport headquarters are on a break.
It was a quiet morning. We were hanging out drinking coffee.
9:43. Brooks is suffering a full-blown heart attack.
He was facing certain death
unless someone helped him.
Brooks: It felt horrible.
I was absolutely sure that I was gonna die.
Narrator: 9:48. Gladys Watson walks past the spot
where Richard Brooks is fighting for his life.
If she calls 911 in the next two minutes, he has a chance.
Unfortunately, Gladys walks right by,
not noticing Brooks.
I was distracted because I was thinking about
something my husband said.
He said that I couldn't cook like his mama.
I said, "Why don't you take your ass over to your mama's house
and eat there, huh? What I look like, Betty Crocker?"
Narrator: Emergency operator Nancy Gaines,
who does not receive a call from Gladys,
reads a trashy novel
and does not dispatch paramedics Schaffer, Berg and Beaudrier,
who don't arrive on the scene because...
no one has called 911.
- lnstead, they played poker. -Bitch!
We were playing "7-Stud Chicago."
And I had the three from the jump,
So I was raising like hell with every card.
Then Berg pulls out the two and I said, "Shit!"
I lost $30 on one hand.
This motherfucker got all my money.
Heart specialist Zachary Hayman
is a leader in his field. Had he been consulted,
he would have brought Brooks back from the brink and saved his life.
But since no one has called 911,
he is going to the men's room to masturbate
with a pornographic magazine.
There's this one photograph of a woman--
she has these shorts on
with no top
and it's my favorite.
10:1 5 A.M.
Brooks has lost all feeling in his extremities.
Most of his major arteries are permanently damaged.
At least I couldn't feel the pain.
But I was acutely aware that my life was over,
which is terrifying,
Iet alone the terrible feeling of being neglected by the world.
Left there to die alone,
and that's when those fellas showed up.
Gang members Johnson, Sloan and Green arrive on the scene.
They immediately recognize Brooks' symptoms.
Knowing he was at Death's door, they rob him
because no one has called 911.
My brother only had $3 in his wallet.
That was bullshit!
You know that was-- that was bullshit!
Having plenty of time with their victim,
due to no one calling 911,
they shave Brooks' head.
10:30 A.M.
80-year-old Joseph Laxall
finds Richard Brooks,
but he too has a heart attack.
Meanwhile, at Freeport headquarters,
paramedic Jeff Schaffer's shift is ending.
I went over to Bridget's house, right?
Yo, Bridget is fine.
And she's ready to go all day long,
Iike, "Yeah, Bridget!
Bridget, yeah, ooh! Yes, yes, yes!"
10:35 A.M.
Richard Brooks died.
All hope is lost
because no one called 911.
So now I'm dead, which is awful.
I mean, I was an old man,
but I didn't want to die.
I wish someone had called that number.
Okay, tonight's the start of the political shows.
We got the republicans and the democrats, okay?
Tonight we're gonna start with the republicans.
Tonight, my first guest is the only black republican
in congress right now. Please welcome from Oklahoma,
Representative J.C. Watts, Jr. Thank you.
How you doing, man?
All right!
All right now.
Now you're the black republican guy now.
I understand Colin Powell being a black republican
'cause Bush gave him the job, and what's he gonna do?
The man put some food on his plate, so you know,
but you, you just said out of the blue sky,
"l want to be a republican." Why?
Well, I don't think
it's actually about being republican or democrat.
I think it's actually about all those things that you talk about.
- Me? - A lot of articles I read about-- yeah.
I just tell jokes, man.
I'm the joke man.
Well, I think when you look
at the way you and I were raised.
I've seen those articles.
You're from Oklahoma or something. I'm from Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn.
I know, and not a lot of difference, though.
When you talk about layaway programs.
- I'm familiar with that. - Okay.
I saw the other night you were on Letterman,
you were talking about that you go buy those boxes of rice
With just "Rice" on the front.
- Didn't say "Uncle Ben's." - Just say "Rice," yeah.
That's right.
But what that got to do with being a republican?
It's all about-- it's all about...
Iiving the values and the principles
that you were raised under, and I think that
for me, being a republican, that was the route that I needed to take.
I became a republican back in 1989.
And I thought that was best for my family and l,
and that's where I am.
Do you feel a little-- 'cause I went to the republican convention.
I went to both of them 'cause I was covering them for Comedy Central.
Didn't you feel a little uncomfortable
being the only black guy around?
There was no place to get some hair grease or nothing.
Well, that's why I was looking for you.
I was gonna borrow some from you.
- You had some, didn't you? - Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I did. I got a little curl, though, you know?
- You going... - No, I think--
No, l--
You gotta feel a little uncomfortable there.
I'm comfortable wherever I am.
Really? I get a little scared, man.
I've been the first before. I've been the first before.
You the only-- ( stammers )
Do they treat you bad?
Are they nice to you?
'cause I know somebody's like,
( clenched ) "Look at this nigger here."
I know you got a little bit of that at first.
- Now come on. - But let me tell you,
I remember the days that you had to sit in the balcony
of the movie theater, couldn't sit down below in the white community.
I remember the days you couldn't swim
- in the public swimming pool. - How old are you?
Be 40 next month.
Be 40? Okay. You just remember them days.
I remember those days.
You were like two. "l can't go where?"
No, I was actually--
I was actually--
"I'll take the chocolate ice cream then."
I was actually four. I was actually four.
Oh, okay, you was four, okay.
But, no, I remember those days.
But I've never chosen
to say, "l was gonna be" or "l wasn't gonna be"
because of my skin color.
If you want to be a comedian, you don't say,
"Well, I'm black. I can't be a comedian," and I don't say,
"I'm black. I can't be a republican,"
or "l can't be a democrat." "l can't be independent."
This is America. We have the freedom
- to do what we feel like we need to do. - No, I'm cool.
You've done well with your life.
Shit, if one of my little brothers turned out like you,
I'd be happy as hell.
I'm telling the truth. I'm just fascinated by the whole thing.
'cause republicans-- okay...
to me, both parties are kinda the same. They really are,
except, like, the republicans, they kinda--
it's not that they're anti-black black,
but they kinda got
these code words for black people.
And I know what they're doing. They're like,
"Yeah, we're trying to get rid of welfare."
And they're really saying "blackfare."
See what I mean?
You know what I mean? They try that all the time.
- It's like, welfare mothers. - But, Chris, you know,
it's more whites on welfare than blacks.
There is! I know, but when you say it,
just the connotation. When a white man says "welfare,"
you think black people.
- Exactly exactly. - Right, but you do.
That's right. That's right. That's right.
But I think that's an important--
You know that, and I know that,
and you down with the guys that are saying that.
But I think that's--
but, Chris, let me ask you.
Have you ever pulled one of them over to the side,
Iike "Hey, man.
What's up with that, man?"
- Well, but let me ask you, Chris, - Okay.
George Wallace, when he stood in the doors
at the University of Alabama and said,
"No negro will enter these doors as long as I'm the governor."
He was not a republican.
When Bull Connors turned loose those water hoses on black people
'cause they wanted to get a hamburger and a cup of coffee
at the lunch counter, he was not a republican. He was a democrat.
You're absolutely right,
but we're talking about right now.
That's right. That's right now,
but I think when you talk about,
when you look at, Chris, what we've done in Washington
over the last three years. Talking about cutting people's taxes.
Does that not affect black people? Black people pay taxes.
You're right.
And I think when you talk about welfare,
I don't think you measure compassion
by how many people are on food stamps, AFDC
and in public housing. I think you measure compassion
by how few people are on food stamps, AFDC and in public housing
because you've helped them climb the ladder
of economic opportunity.
But you could be a bum and not be on food stamps.
When you talk about education,
you talk about these poor people,
these poor black kids trapped
in these poor inner city schools that don't work
and you try to give 'em a way out.
We're leading that charge. Republicans are leading that charge.
( crowd jeering )
They say, "Well, it's anti- public education."
I'm a product of public education,
but there are schools that don't work.
And I think the inner city kids should have the same opportunity
to meet their educational goals as the kids in the suburbs.
And in 1997 America, that's not the case.
But that's never gonna happen because--
Unless-- unless-- unless--
It will never happen because schools are funded through property taxes,
and black people don't own that much property.
It's like a Jim Crow law. It's gonna be like that forever.
But no, Chris, no no no, Chris.
You're right. It's paid through property taxes--
unless somebody got the nerve to say, "Hey, white people,
share some of your money."
What I would say, though, is--
if you're not gonna say share the money, you ain't saying nothing.
But that's what I'm saying. That's right.
And that's exactly right.
And that's exactly what I'm saying.
I've got legislation on the table right now
that says just because you're poor
doesn't mean that you should not be able to put your kids
in schools that work, and that's the way it is today.
If you're poor,
if you wanna take your kid out and put him in a private school,
that poor parent said, "l can't afford it."
So I say we need to take some of those government dollars,
create scholarships for those poor parents
to send their kids to private schools.
-That's not gonna work. - Why not?
No, 'cause it's a slick way, man.
The real way is if you fund schools
by how many children are in the schools.
- That's right. - If there's 100 kids in this school
and 100 kids in that school,
then that's how much money you get. That's nonsense.
But that's why they won't let those poor kids
out of the bad schools,
'cause they say if we let this poor child
go to this school, we're gonna lose the money,
and I say, you send the money wherever that kid wants
- to go to school. That's the issue. - Okay.
It's not about how many kids-- that's the big problem.
They don't send the money where the kids go,
where the kids would want to go.
If they want to go to a good school, a school that works,
They say, "No, they can't go because we lose the money.
So we won't let 'em transfer out." and I ask you this.
If the President of the United States
can live in public housing
and send his daughter to private school,
why can't poor people live in public housing
and send their kids to private school?
Absolutely right. Let me ask you this.
Who do you hang out with, all these white guys,
I mean, you're getting ready to be 40,
so you're not, like, old or nothing.
Who do you hang out with? What do you do?
If George Clinton's coming to town,
and you wanna go, who do you call?
Do you even like George Clinton?
- Who is George Clinton? - Get out!
- Oh, no. - ( crowd jeering )
- No! - I don't have--
You know, I'm married and got five kids.
I can go out with my wife and kids.
What do you do?
( both stammering )
I don't go to concerts.
Really? Don't do anything?
I don't have a reason to go to concerts.
Do you watch cartoons?
I go to little league baseball games,
Iittle league soccer games, little league basketball games,
Iittle league football games.
- I know you got a TV in your house. - Yeah, yeah.
- What do you watch? - I watch the Dallas Cowboys
on Sunday afternoons.
- Go to bible study on Sunday morning. - Okay.
Saturday nights, sometimes I'll go to a movie with my wife.
Or I'm speaking somewhere around the country.
I don't watch a lot of TV. I've got a TV.
I don't watch a lot of TV.
What did you do when you was a sinner?
I watched "the Chris Rock Show."
Yo, thank you very, very much.
Ladies and gentlemen, J.C. Watts.
Take care.
J.C. Watts, Jr.
Now here to perform the song "Dangerous"
off his latest album "When Disaster Strikes,"
give it up for Busta Rhymes.
( performing hip-hop music )
Yo, that's our show for tonight.
Thank our guests J.C. Watts and Busta Rhymes.
We'll see you next week. Yo, Flash, take us out.
( theme music playing )
Announcer: "the Chris Rock Show"
was brought to you by "Soundtrack the Movie."
It made us laugh. It made us cry.
It made us do the bounce.
The soundtrack to that movie was so good,
it made me want to come back and see what the movie was about.
I'm going to take my mother to see it.
I'm going to take my DJ to see it.
I don't know what this movie was about, but it sure was funky.
This movie was so good,
I had to come back and see it with my other man.
Announcer: it's "Soundtrack the Movie."
( theme music resumes )